The Ultimate Alpha Male

The alpha male is charismatic, dangerous, and mysterious - the bad boy to tame and possess. Romance novels reveal the alpha, pealing away his layers, exposing his inner core, giving women insight into the ultimate male.

What makes this type of man the way he is? What is it that makes up his undeniable charisma? To create an ultimate alpha male character, a writer has to understand his reality.

Here's a list of ultimate alpha male characteristics I complied from various sources:

  1. Self-confidence - comfortable in his skin, loves his body, his skin is his favorite outfit.
  2. Always dresses his best - his body was designed for worship. He is properly groomed, clean and physically fit. He looks good in any type of clothes from formal to casual to naked.
  3. Doesn't spend time in front of a mirror. He knows he's the best looking man in the world.
  4. His eyes speak for him - he has a range of "Looks" that speak volumes. If he wants you to know what he is thinking or feeling, it's in his eyes.
  5. When he walks in, the room seems to shrink - no space is large enough to contain him
  6. He leads - expects everyone to follow
  7. People look to him to make decisions
  8. Doesn't care what people think of him
  9. Either he doesn’t answer questions or gives basic responses. The alpha is in control of the game and keeps his strategy to himself. This forces others to guess what he's thinking - usually guessing wrong, which helps the Alpha maintain control of the game.
  10. Gives his opinion - doesn't wait to be asked
  11. Happy in any situation - aloof, untouchable
  12. His ego is never a problem - only insecure men need to protect their ego
  13. Always ahead of the game - intelligent, well informed, resourceful
  14. A man of action - takes control of the situation, acts first, thinks later
  15. Lives by his rules - when his moral code and the law overlap, it is merely a coincidence
  16. Exudes an air of danger and unpredictability - you want him as a friend not enemy - he destroys his enemies and runs over anyone in his way
  17. Not afraid of the unexpected or unknown - he knows he can handle any situation
  18. Fights for what is his
  19. Gives the impression that he is a predator always stalking potential prey.
  20. Takes what he wants - the world and everything in it belongs to him.
  21. Hangs out with Alpha - has no use for the weak. When with other alpha males, there is a pecking order. Never know when a fight for dominance will break out, even if the alphas are best friends. The Ultimate Alpha's level of dominance forces other Alphas to be submissive to his authority.
  22. Enjoys the challenge of maintaining his dominance over everyone - not threatened by the presence of strong personalities. He knows he can put them in their place.
  23. Honor, integrity, and loyalty - demands the same qualities in those he considers his friends/allies
  24. He's busy, has a full life, enjoys a variety of activities, finds pleasure in everything he does.
  25. Recognizes others - he remembers the people he's met, laughs at their jokes, acknowledges their ideas, makes them feel important.
  26. Self-focused - he is superior to everyone, the world revolves around him, people exist to entertain him.
  27. Takes the glory - will tweak the ideas, jokes and opinions of others and present them as his own without giving recognition to the original author.
  28. Can be a genuine nice guy at times - because he doesn't care what people think. If being nice, down to earth, and caring helps him obtain his objective, he will do so.
  29. Well-developed sense of humor, sharp wit - laughs at himself and the rest of the world, makes others laugh. His humor can he sarcastic and twisted.
  30. Sucks people into his reality like a black hole, he's interesting, makes people feel comfortable and welcome in his world.
A list of nevers:

  1. Never apologizes - unless jesting
  2. Never explains his actions
  3. Never boasts or brags about his accomplishments - knows others will do that for him in their effort to gain his attention, respect, and affection.
  4. Never does anything to bring attention to himself - all he has to do is walk into a room for that to happen
  5. Never nervous or fidgety
  6. Never stresses over a situation
  7. Never asks others to do something - he tells them
  8. Never acts surprised by what happens around him - calm, composed, focused
  9. Never admits to failure - to him, a failure is a learning experience, one more step toward his goals
  10. Never admits he is wrong
  11. Never lavishes his attention on anyone. He is the only one who deserves such treatment.

His attitude toward women (in romance novels, the Heroine is the only possible exception - symptoms of the love disease):

  1. Not possessive
  2. Not needy
  3. Not the jealous type
  4. A woman is lucky to gain his attention
  5. Does not use gifts or flowers or favors of any kind to impress a woman.
  6. Women are a secondary life goal.
  7. Sex is important but not the focus of his life, women are an activity to be enjoyed.
  8. Knows women benefit from his attentions
  9. Rejection doesn't hurt - a woman is lucky to come to his attention. Her refusal is her loss.
  10. He doesn't smother women when in a relationship
  11. Doesn't put women on pedestals
  12. Tears do not sway him - he walks away

Body Language

  1. Doesn't scan the room - not concerned what others are doing, knows he is the center of attention, everyone is looking at him, that is why he exists.
  2. Uses his peripheral vision to take in a scene
  3. Positions himself so that everyone has to see him, becomes the focus
  4. His body stance takes up space - elbows slightly out, legs apart, head held high
  5. He looks down on others - even if they are taller than him
  6. Maintains a comfortable stance, doesn't shift positions often.
  7. Hand gestures are slow and deliberate.
  8. Breathes slowly from deep in his chest
  9. Controls the pace of a conversation with thoughtful pauses or well-timed interruptions
  10. Moves at his own speed - expects others to match his
  11. Speaks slowly - uses fewest words necessary.
  12. His forward motion is smooth and purposeful at any speed.

All men have alpha tendencies, but only the rare few are Ultimate alpha males. Thank heaven for that or there'd never be a moment's peace anywhere in the world! A man with all of these tendencies can also be classified as a sociopath.

Alpha tendencies are what women both love and hate about men in general. We hate that they are stubborn, egocentric, insensitive, chauvinistic and unbendable. But we love that they are loyal, funny, sexy, protective, and unbreakable.

Did I miss anything? Please let me know.

I'll keep you posted.


  1. Whew. Love a little bit of Alpha but this is like eating a whole habanero pepper includint the stem!

    Great Post Carrie.

  2. Holy crap, what a list! :) Mind if I post this on a page on my blog? BTW, welcome to RomCrit! I've been MIA for a while trying to finish a WIP but I'll be back soon. Terrific post.

  3. Very comprehensive list! A man who had all these qualities in real life would be a terror to be with, like you said! But pick quite a few of these qualities and mix them in with some other softer ones inspired by the heroine, and you have a perfect romance hero;)